Through my own personal journey, treating thousands of patients and in coaching hundreds of individuals and couples , I have discovered the areas of resistance within the relationship holds the greatest insights for your own personal growth of learning to love. How do we come together to find a solution that benefits us both? Is there such a thing as a compromise? Do you sacrifice what is important to you for your lover? How do you build bridges in your relationship? What is jealousy and what is its purpose? Is there a perfect partner?

This time of the year brings past reflection as old falls away and new growth happens in relationships, moving through a divine plan. Family stresses and divorce rates are higher in December and January than any other as we evaluate the New Year with a fresh perspective. There is so much to learn when you are courageous enough to dive into the deep waters of our emotional iceberg and understand what beliefs are supporting your thoughts, words and actions to make-love to the ocean of possibilities. Without looking into the waters of wisdom your next relationship may end with the same lesson. You attract same lesson until you learn to love it. Let’s triage your relationship and give you the “Love Score” of your current relationship to celebrate or re-design the year ahead.

1. Communicate clearly. What is it you love and why? Have you asked your partner what it is they love? Write it down if you don’t have the courage to say it out loud. The degree of clarity will be directly related to the length and strength of the relationship. You need the details, the list of ingredients and supplies before you can create the love nest.

A. We talk almost every day, share the highlights of our day and give each other ideas and suggestions.
B. We talk once or twice a week, one partner shares and the other listens and provide advice.
C. We rarely talk and when we do it ends in emotion.

2. Treat your lover as your best friend. Best friends are independent and fearless in sharing their heart and remind you of yours when you’ve forgotten. They are there for you unconditionally. These are the relationships that last forever, regardless of the marriage status. The couple may not always be lovers but this friend bond is a sharing of a kindred spirit of mutual respect and understanding.

A. My partner and I enjoy time together or apart with others.
B. We have mostly couple’s friends and we enjoy spending time with them.
C. We don’t spend much time together and he/she doesn’t like my friends.

3. Take pleasure in your partner’s successes. Unconditional love is not jealous. If your child scored in their hockey game, won an award or found a friend that is really helping them achieve their goals would you be jealous? This unconditional love comes from a soulful place within you that knows love can neither be lost nor gained but grown deeper with loving care. When you are fulfilled within yourself you spill it out to share it with others. The area you feel you are lacking within yourself is the perceived area of abundance in your partner to which you will be jealous. For example if you do not love your job you will resent your husband for loving his and be jealous of all the work related opportunities. If you are not fulfilled in your family life you will be jealous of the time your partner spends with their family. If you are not fulfilled in your sexuality, then you may be jealous of theirs.

A. I rejoice and take pleasure in my partner’s successes. When they are joyful, so am I.
B. I support most of my partner’s endeavors, even the ones that make me angry.
C. My partner is often boasting about knowledge, success in business and relationships and this infuriates me.

4. Love them by giving them support and challenge. The people pleasers – “yes honey”, “ok honey”, “and no problem honey”- will set up resentment within their partner. We all thrive in authentic communication. Parents or partners that only give positive or negative comments will create a child or spouse that has little self confidence. This artificial environment is felt and the person feels weak and unworthy of the truth. We try to fill a bucket when we perceive it empty. See your partner’s brilliance and understand that they need both your compliments and criticisms to be fully balanced. A bucket over flowing with compliments tips over! You do more of a disservice to the relationship by putting that person on a pedestal or the reverse of constantly removing water with your criticisms. True love communicates eye to eye and heart to heart.

A. I ask my partner if they would like my honest opinion, and I usually deliver it on a balanced tactful plate of positive and negatives.
B. I sometimes will tell my partner how I really feel, but I am often afraid of how they will react.
C. I can never speak my mind for fear of what it would mean to our relationship. I feel like I am under a microscope and always walking on egg shells.

5. Trust in a matrix that balances love. What you put into a relationship you will get back. This doesn’t mean sacrificing the things that are important to you for the other person. Truly following the above steps, attending to your desires equally to your partners and linking them towards a shared vision is the art of love making. Write out your top ten life goals and exchange lists with your partner, each of you taking on the responsibility of how you can help the other be list fulfilled.

A. I give to myself, what I give to them. I love, honor and respect their desires as if they were my own.
B. In giving to my partner, I sometime feel like I am sacrificing what is important to me.
C. I give them everything and there is no way to please them.

Rating Yourself with the above choices: A= 3points B=2 points C=1 point
What is your Love Score?

A score of 15 = You are living true love, in that you love you as much as you love your partner. Caring to communicate your desires with them and live out your destiny as a divine couple.

A score 10-15= You know what ideal love is and you are learning to love yourself as much as you love your partner. You still haven’t grasped the concept that love is both positive and negative. When you are speaking from your heart and being authentic regardless of whether you are liked or disliked, you have the courage to love. To only give support weakens the structure. Plants, puppies and partners that have some challenge grow stronger. Daily Affirmation for this score is: “Love is neither positive nor negative but encompasses all. True love is being authentic and speaking from my heart.”

A score of 5-10= You are struggling in your relationship. The key to success lies within the ability to know and love you. What is it that you love? Why are you not going after it? Instead of blaming your spouse, love them for who they, understand their values are different than yours. Honor the divine spirit that you are and fearlessly let your light shine upon the world. Say this affirmation to yourself every day… “I love and honor the divine spirit that I am and I am fearlessly letting my light shine upon the world. I love and honor that others are doing the same. I am love and with this I attract more love into my life. ”

I trust that you find some wisdom within these words to enable you to see the perfection in you and your relationship. To understand that you are each a living expression of a divine intention, here on earth at this time to learn greater depths of love. Act now with this faith, confidence and belief to manifest an amazing love-making opportunity with the unique universal expression of you…and your partner as your own reflection! If you need additional information visit www.loveyourdivorcesite.com, www.drdenachurchill.com or book a live or virtual coaching session with me dena@drdenachurchill.com

Thank you for reading. I look forward to your comments. If you like this article, please consider sharing it with those who are seeking their beloved.

The glory of creation is tested with breastfeeding that lowers the mothers sex drive, a father that notices the sexual gap and the sleepless nights and tired days. The time and responsibilities of this new joy can become overwhelming. Unlike any nine to five job you have ever experienced, this one is twenty- four seven and demands all your attention. “The job description must have gotten lost in the mail and hey, didn’t this miracle come with a manual J Where am I?”

As the family grows so does the ‘marriage’, together or apart. It matures into shared tasks and often the parents are so focused on the next diaper change, maternity leaves or the weekly soccer practise that they move further away from the person they married. The test of segregation and the tempest to divorce begins to emerge. Initially, you are so busy with the kids that you do not even notice your spouse. Until one day you awake and feel as though you are laying next to a stranger. “AAAHHHHHH Who is this person in my bed? Did they really look and act like that when I married them?” The moment of choice- continue to consummate or further segregate?

This is a familiar story in my coaching practise with couples. Inspired by today’s coaching session my purpose is to let you know you are not alone and to suggest the 5 steps to relationship recovery. The 911 answers of How to I rekindle your marriage?

1. Know what it is that you love. There is no possible way to effectively communicate to your spouse unless you can articulate what it is that you need, want and love. As mothers and fathers we often put our own needs and desires aside for the children and family, that we lose the joy of who we really are. This is often a stumbling block for many as they have put off what they love, listening to some outside authority of family, friends, spouse, religious or government organization that they have forgotten what gives them joy. Look back beyond the current smoke and mirror existence to when you were ten years old and find that “joie de vive” activity that you did before someone told you couldn’t. Did you paint? Play an instrument? Coach and counsel your friends? Play a sport? Sing? Dance? Visit the sick? Volunteer? Camp and fish? Read or write? Find this joy. Own it and articulate it. Know thyself.

2. Know what it is that your partner loves. Who are they? What is their favourite hobby? What activity will caress their spirit of unconditional love (soul). How can I connect with them? Know thy spouse.

3. Make space to connect. Once you have sorted out these joys then make an overnight date to consummate the ideas in mental , physical and spiritual form. Get to know your spouse all over again, ask them the questions you have asked yourself, fall in love with the idea of the journey together sharing who you are with each other. Move out of your current physical space to an inspiring location for you both. Surround yourselves with fresh water, Italian wine, beautiful views, music, erotic smells, satin sheets, slippery lotions and potions or special lingerie – whatever that picture looks like for you both to put you in a mind and body frame to discover your hearts. This process needs all your attention so eliminate any distractions!

4. Exchange love lists! This is the creative weaving of love to a shared vision. Write down the ten items you wish to accomplish or things you love to do that gives you joy and purpose. Be limitless in allowing these ideas to flow from the deepest depths of your soul into your pen out onto the paper. Pretend there is no cost, no geographical distance, no time barriers to hold you back. Put your mind away and set your heart free. Create your fantasy life love list and encourage your partner to do the same, then switch lists! Don’t worry what the other will think. Your judgements of them will give you insights into the parts of life you have not yet loved , so note well and use it as self study. Your partner is responsible to come up with a plan of how they can help you get to where you wish to go and you get to creatively design the path of helping them obtain their top ten. Time and space do not exist in a heart of love, so relax and enjoy the process- you will have a lifetime or two to complete this exercise.

I worked with a heterosexual couple in a relationship where the man loved to have sex a few times a day and the female didn’t wish to accommodate this item so they had reached an impasse. It was left up to her to provide a solution. Her resolve was to set him up as a guest star with others a few times per week to accommodate his appetite. While not meeting his full requirement this solution seemed to be one that worked for them both . They have a beautiful marriage with love, honour and respect of each other’s values and are living lovingly ever after.

5. Follow through. Understand that the process is never complete. It requires constant attention and refining. Make a vision board and keep refining the process. Love grows with more love. If you hold your shared intention into growing a lifetime in love, then you will give your relationship the attention it requires to sustain and flourish. Book regular date nights to update and re-charge your battery. It is your ‘quality assurance check in’ with the vision to be sure you are both on the same path. Keep fuelling the fire with love and it burns for an eternity.

“Communication is not what you say, but what is congruent. Words aligned with thoughts and actions penetrate a powerful vibration of love. The philosophy is communicating within another’s values in a form they understand; The science is linking your values to what you both love; The art is discovering what that love is.” ~ Dr. Dena Churchill

Throughout our recent history, the flux of opinion around divorce no doubt reflects the magnitude of personal emotion; changes in the status of family, friends and finances. It challenges our societal definition of family. In many countries divorce was even illegal for a significant period of time! It wasn’t until the 1960 did Canada legalize divorce. Previously the only option in Canada to get a marriage dissolved was by an Act of Parliament with an investigation by a special committee of the Canadian Senate! To later follow their Canadian neighbours, the USA instituted no-fault divorces that were easily obtainable in 1970’s. Ireland’s transformation is even more recent. On February 27, 1997 the country of Ireland joined the rest of Europe in making divorce legal when it passed an amendment ending the country’s constitutional divorce ban. Until the legalization, couples had to find creative ways to secure annulments.

If the religious doctrines forbade divorce and the government deemed it illegal could this not contribute to the feelings of guilt, shame and blame around the whole process? What if ,as in any universal balance, half will stay married and half will not? Imagine divorce rates in a perfect world to be 50%. It may be that some stay when they would love to leave and vice versa but the theoretical balance would be about half. Perhaps the resistances to this natural flow with the suppression of divorce for years is paradoxically pushing the pendulum in the other direction. We could theorize this suppression and recent liberty gives fuel to the rise in current divorce rates.

The ancient Athenians liberally allowed divorce. The person requesting the divorce approached the magistrate who deemed the reasons were sufficient and it was granted. The Roman empires civil law embraced the maxim, “matrimonia debent esse libera” (“marriages ought to be free”), and either husband or wife could renounce the marriage at will. It wasn’t until the fall of the Roman empire that familial life was regulated more by the ecclesiastical authority than its civil counterpart.

By the ninth or tenth century, the divorce rate had been greatly reduced under the influence of the Christian Church, which considered marriage a sacrament by God and Christ and Divorce was not. From my research, the countries that have the least Christian influence appear to have the highest divorce rates, even today.

Evaluating your history and understanding the unconscious motives gives you insight into why you are here. I wrote a book to answer the question of where you go next. I titled the book Divinity in Divorce to juxtapose our ideas of what our society considers a sacrament. Courageous, truth seekers have found it useful to understand a broader perspective seeking unbound solutions with love and grace. To understand the problem we must rise above the current paradigm and dig below to the unconscious motives to escape the paradox in which they exist.

‎We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. ~ Einstein

You can never awaken using the same system that put you to sleep in the first place. ~ Gurdjieff

The emotional pain in my own divorce sparked my inspiration to seek love and gratitude in the process. The diamond of a marriage may be in a jewellery box but the diamond of divorce is buried within our own heart. Once your mind opens to see the blessing, your heart opens to love and grace for what is present, reaching new levels of consciousness.

“Want” is a lower vibration than “Love”. Do what you love and trust others are doing the same. Wanting a square peg to fit in your round hole doesn’t work well. Only the partner you truly love, communicating within their values, loves you back.

Sacred union does not comprehend the word capture (marriage) or release(divorce). The commitment is to each other’s spiritual growth; to enhance the gifts they each bring to the world and to assist in uncovering our authentic selves. Being with each other in physical life beautifully reflects each other’s spiritual consciousness. The concepts of marriage and divorce are simply a way to put this union on legal paper but in or out of a marriage, true love is eternal.

If we operate with the premise that it is our mind that creates our Reality, then to command the mind is the magic that controls our destiny to any miraculous result—the colloquial “Law of attraction.”

Our health, finances, family and career are byproducts of our thoughts. It is first the imagined that grooms our actions that lead to a realistic results. So who changes this? Where do feelings and emotions interfere? How do we get to where we want to go?

“Handle thought like a rapier in a fencing match. Feint, parry and thrust with delicate precision and learn to listen as if for the chime of a crystal bell borne on the soft winds from a hundred miles away.” – Anonymous

Step one is to focus your thoughts by writing down your dreams and loves. It is liberating to put your heart out there on a platter as the fertile soil for growth. This is yours to share, and let not anyone or anything tell you different. Your flashing billboard will attract others moving in the same direction.

Step two: understand that we create our own obstacles. Blame and shame unto others are for the weak. Strength is in knowing we are all connected by the same spirit and taking responsibility for our choices.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your Consent.” I would like to expand on this thought: that others are brought to us to reflect our own insecurities so that we may learn. The perceived obstacles are our opportunities! Capture them!

Step three: Understand your emotions, embracing them as part of the path to find a balance. This is where the “body-mind work” of chiropractic, massage, yoga, energy healing, Qigong, acupuncture, and psychology are helpful in releasing stored unresolved emotion for processing. The body is the temple of our mind and heart so it holds the past, present and the future. What you have not loved, recognized in yourself and are grateful for, you will wear in stagnant energy or disease. You must see it all perfect just as it is.

Let’s review. We have our soul map of what we love and the direction we are travelling to the future. We understand processes that release emotions in the body and mind to bring clarity and grace in this moment. Liberation, learning, love and growth in ourselves and in our world—is This not the miracle we all seek?

Dr. Dena G Churchill discusses the relationship between Chiropractic and Yoga.
By Dr. Dena G Churchill

The philosophical basis of these two disciplines provides a symbiotic relationship that I would love to explore with you. Understanding these founding principles may expand your mind. Therefore: Warning! Continue reading with caution.

Chiropractic is one of the largest primary contact health care professions in Canada, with over 7,000 practicing chiropractors treating 4.5 million Canadians annually with drug free, non-invasive, hands-on care. Chiropractors assess disorders related to the spine, nervous system, and joints of the extremities and diagnose and treat these disorders.

The primary goal of chiropractic manipulation, also referred to as adjustment, is to treat areas of decreased movement in the joints. Manipulation reduces pain, increases joint function, and improves overall health.

Chiropractic was founded by David Palmer in 1895 in Davenport Iowa, but he hailed from Port Perry Ontario. Imagine—this international discipline was first of all a Canadian phenomenon!

In the West, Yoga is a growing physical practice of stretching and breathing, but for many in the East it is a spiritual practice of mind and body. India has 800 million people who practice yoga, and many anticipate similar numbers in the West as our international consciousness expands.

Yoga is derived from prehistoric roots via Hindu philosophy. The earliest accounts are in the Indus Valley civilization (3,000-1,700 BC). “Yogi glyptics” (carved pictures on artifacts) shows figures in a meditation posture depicting ritual, discipline and concentration. Early commentaries on yoga practices called “tapas” are referenced in the Rig Veda, the earliest of the Hindu scriptures.

So how are Yoga and Chiropractic complimentary? I do not know of any research that has double-blinded this relationship. These are simply my own personal ideas and beliefs after studying and practicing both.

Alignment 1. Philosophically, both rest in the constitutional foundation that the nervous system is the carrier of innate wisdom, and that with proper alignment in the spine, a person moves closer to optimizing their health potential.

Anatomy update: The central nervous system (the brain, spinal cord and nerve roots) is protected by the bones of the skull and vertebrae of the spine. Nerve innervations to every cell, tissue, organ and organ system can be traced to this central “fuse box.” Obstacles that present challenges to this flow of energy through the nervous system affect the connection between the mind and the body.

Alignment 2. Sharing a respect for the wisdom of the body and its ability to heal itself, Chiropractic and Yoga are tools that empower the individual to reach greater potential: hosting healing but celebrating the individual’s journey.

Alignment 3. Both embrace health as a combination of physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing. Both understand that all three components are connected in a “quantum paradigm” in which “all affects all.”

Alignment 4. Breath is the energy that assists in alignment. Whether breathing through an asana (yoga posture) or taking a deep breath and releasing it with a chiropractic adjustment, this principle of trust, release and align is a common theme.

Alignment 5. The yoga postures themselves are a fine example of Proprioceptive neuromuscular facilitation or PNF stretching. They follow a neurological principle that with contraction of an antagonistic muscle the opposite and opposing one must relax.

Alignment 6. Both maintain strength and flexibility, the push and pull—a duality that allows for balance. Balance in the body for the beginners and balance in life for the spiritual seekers in both practices.

As a rookie yogi and a veteran chiropractor, I value this union as useful in our growth and expansion on the planet. Chiropractic may take a yoga practitioner further in his asanas, and yoga practice may further expand and maintain a structural alignment that a chiropractic adjustment creates. Seek your own truth, find your own patterns, and enjoy the journey.

In our limited perception of the material world, what are the proportions of a sexy woman? Is it 36 inch breasts, 24 inch waist and a 30 inch hips, or is it a 24-20-24 or perhaps 32-24-32? What are the accepted current proportions? Is she a tanned tall blond caucasian or a smaller brunette oriental supermodel? Depending on the culture and the individual preferences these numbers and tastes will vary. Ladies, must your sexy man have biceps and a firm buttock? These are some features that our society promotes as sexy. There is much time and money spent in cosmic surgery and photo enhancements to achieve these “ideals”. I applaud and honour an individual’s choice to change their physical appearance when it comes from a place of self-loving and not self-loathing. You have to love it before you can let it go. The gauge I use when coaching patients is to flush out fantasies, for in holding on to an unreal expectation is what causes pain. You will wrinkle, your weight will fluctuate, there will be good and bad skin days, at times your hair will feel course and limp, your breast will sag and your buttock will not be far behind The power of you is that you have the ability to be the best that you can be. To shine your sexy, allowing your light to radiate outwards and at the same time permits another light to enter in.

Let’s take a journey now into greater proportions, winding through the alluring beauty of the mind, body and the spirit. An holistic approach embraces all levels of beauty. The mind and body proportions are the golden mean ratio of symmetry into the spirit of sexy. The mind releases chemicals to stimulate and arouse the physical body just as much as the body is also a vessel of enchantment for the mind. Have you ever been with a lover that is so preoccupied with their appearance that they pause to flex their muscles and look at themselves in the mirror during lovemaking? On the other hand, a lover may be so intellectually preoccupied that they forget to shower and use duct tape to repair the crack in their eye glass frames? The mind and body balance point is the key to sexy. When you love and care for yourself and feel sexy, envisioning and achieving your personal best you attract others with the same mindset to love your sexy too. It is your perception of yourself that others see. Sexy is seen in your posture, your invitation to your environment and your certainty that you love you.

Sexy is whatever YOU love it to be. A man with biceps in a T-shirt and jeans washing dishes; hot hunk in a suit hopping around a stage with a beautiful buttock ; eyes that mirror eternity; thongs, heels, hose and short skirts; stimulating conversation; a sense of humour; a particular scent; silk, satin, leather, lace, lotions, potions, powders and things that may vibrate or go pop in the night! Whatever it is, try it on your uninhibited self and share it to find your sexy. In a union of spirit, you share your energy molecules with others as they feed on your orgasm of life. There is energy in your pheromones, energy in your eyes, energy in your posture and movements, energy in your voice, energy in your passion, energy in your breath. You will attract others of a similar energy vibration, so be what you love. Sexuality is an expression of your spirituality, so cherish it in this sacred space.

“Breath is essentially an aspect of a person’s soul. When breath is commingled through passionate kissing, the two souls unite.” Yehuda Berg

Last year, my photographer was assuring me of photo magic on a wrinkle and mole I was wishing to disappear. Apparently, because my eyes were out of focus and the depth of field was off, the photo highlighted my forehead wrinkles. “If your eyes were in focus the other details would have fallen softly out of focus and would not be a problem.” The photographer called my forehead wrinkle and my chin mole a technical issue based on his focus and depth of field. Profound. The physical appearance was just a technical issue based on focus and depth of vision!! When you focus into celestial eyes, all you see is beauty. The sexy sense goes beyond the temporary physical covering but into the depth of the eternal soul. As Confucius states, from this soulful place everything has beauty but not everyone sees it. Do you see your sexy?

Stimulate the body and you capture desire; stimulate the mind and you capture attention; but touch the heart and you caress the beauty of soul . ~Dena Churchill

We all do the best with what we know and have in the moment. The infatuation of your own actions creates resentment and judgments in others. (“I always try to act kind but they are mean”)

I will be perceived as kind and unkind but I am love is the only truth. (Being worthy of love puts it into the duality.)

The best we can do is to be ourselves and not lay judgment on others, even through the guise of self exploration:)). Use your words to be clear about your one-sided perceptions and to state what you love is the only solution. Clarity.

Would you truly love me if you judge my actions? Yes, this too is love. But divine love goes out to a different layer of love and understanding.

I could go on with a kind and unkind list of mine but it would be different than yours. We sometimes label unkind when we don’t love it within ourselves, perhaps there something you haven’t admitted doing..guilt or you can see the form of your “unkindness”. We judge it until we own it! We are most critical of that quality in others that we are denying within ourselves. ” Kind or cruel”, but be rest assured it is love. Try to see the loving intention behind the action and it dissolves the judgment.

If you will explain to me what you perceive as unkind then we can have a discussion about this and I will change my behavior in honoring your request. These are the words of a prophet!

Come out and ask me straight out why I acted in a certain way, you may be surprised at my loving intention I’ll remember to ask you too. It is in this clarity, that we find a divine love and understanding.

A lady e-mails me last week asking me for resources in the community to support her in her recent diagnosis of breast cancer. She had heard a talk I did a few years ago and felt that I was the person to help her. When she arrived to the office I asked her why she chose me to walk this journey with her. Her reply was that I appeared to be a woman on purpose with a certainty and clarity in my mission. I write the following entry to honor this inspirational gift.

The body symptoms are the map of where we must travel mentally to find the spirit of love and healing. Read on and I’ll take you with us on a journey from the body into the mind. The mind can be a dark scary place to be on your own, so stay close. When you are frozen or locked into a certain fear, it is difficult to find your way out alone.

I begin a coaching session with a 5 minute meditation to clear my mind before the client arrives. I summarize my intention of the session and ask my client for their story of “why are you here?” and “what is your intention?”.

Many of my mentors and colleagues talk about dissolving the story and the emotions but knowing a little of the cave of illusion is the path to discovering the diamond. By listening to the words, taking notes of key phrases, the tone of the voice, their expressions, the eye contact and the body movements , you determine the puzzle pieces and how to help your client assemble them into a path of purpose. The diamond is buried in the layers of illusion and emotion, knowing the “story” focuses your attention on where you need to chisel first. I had a wise College professor who said….”80 percent of your diagnosis is in what the patient will tell you, so for God sake listen”. Listen not only to words but to what those words reflect in the grander scheme of life and love.

This lady had come to me because she was attracted to my apparent sense of clarity and purpose. She remembered my name and found me, years after the event. She can’t remember my talk but I appeared to be a lady that knew what I loved. Why did she remember this?

She is a health care provider working with Cancer patients every day but feeling trapped in the traditional medical model. Vowing to get out, she says to herself “two more years, and I’m gone”. My question to her is “out of what and into what is next?” At this point she has not written the ‘what- is- next plan’ according to what she loves. The universe is making it so that she will be OUT but the choice now of what’s next, is hers to design. There is a trinity of choice in this blessing of cancer, as it is there to grant her wish. Option 1. kick off and die 2. manage the illness for years 3. Use this as a catalyst to put her purpose into practice and live her loving service. Many assume the 3rd option is what we all would love but in truth some wish to die so why try to stop them? Judgments burn holes in opportunities to teach. I trust that when you give others an inspired option, they choose it. I present it as a option, honor their path, unattach from the outcome and focus on giving my loving service.

We start with the surface immediate fears and dissect them . By asking specific questions we come to the profound truth that if they occured, the situation would be no better or worse than life is at this moment. Fears of metastasis, fear of death, fear of financial loss, fear of leaving the family, fear of being sick and alone are the usual concerns that pop up to the surface. If you find the perceived blessing in the perceived crisis, the fear disappears! This is the magic in the mystery of the unknown. The shackles have been loosened to melt the frozen mind lock , to allow her just enough time to escape and find the way to her heart. ” Imagine Ms. client that you have only two weeks now left to live what would you do?” (If you suggest 24 hours she will spend it with her family, 1 week and she will include her friends but two weeks she’ll have time to reach beyond her circle to start a service for the planet.)

I reserve some of the details to preserve client confidentiality but as with any breast condition, I have seen there is unresolved emotion with the parental figures, feelings of lack of nuture and a disconnect from their own hearts desires. In the few dozen women I have coached through this particular cancer, they have lost sight of what they truly love in attempting to listen to some voice of authority outside of themselves. I asked her to discover what she loves by assessing her current environment and remembering the vitality of youth. (see my blog entry entitled ” Your Purpose Is Birthed With You But Vision is Refined with Time” for more details)

She is attracted to me because I appear to have what she is seeking- a purpose. I have attracted her to be reminded of my service and purpose in the world. There is a beautiful perfection in the shared inspiration. As we are closing the door of fear and opening hearts of love she breaks into grateful tears. For several moments she can not speak and the reflected tears in my eyes , lump in my throat and warmth in my heart signals the spirit of love and healing has arrived. We have discussed death and disease, fears and doubts but what opens her heart is the discovery that she feels she is on the edge of utter joy!! Joy? This is a lady that is diagnosised with Cancer and is at the edge of joy? Yes it is as if God is asking her to step inside and now she hears the invite.

Ironically, she has been through the usual resources trying to find an authority. Today she is the resource and her own authority and with all certainty this lady will survive and thrive through the blessing of Cancer.

Ms. Client, thank you for the opportunity to work with you and to share our story. To those who are reading this post, the moral of the story is…. listen for the call, find the door and open it before the Universe gives you a push!

“Suffering is the greatest teacher that ever lived and is our constant companion”. Buddhist teachings

“Pain pushes until the purpose pulls us.” Dena C

I must admit that I am not a purist in any one organized faith but seek to weave and understand the essence of love that flows through them all. I have studied many of the major world religions, mind and body medicines of the east and west and with some of the greatest coaches ( John Demartini, Tony Robbins, Louise Hay, Barbara Ann Brennan, Byron Katie)….. and all my seeking now comes back to my heart for true sacred healing is true sacred love. Love for the process and the person.

The source of suffering is that to which we attach, so that I may know a man by understanding his pain. As learn his pain so to do I learn my own. My chiropractic practice and internet coaching allows the discovery between the symptoms of disease in the body, the mind and the life message it is to teach. If your eyes are the windows of your soul, your words provide me with the keys to know which doors to open! The mind-body therapies understand this is the connection to the spirit of life.

http://www.drdenachurchill.com/content/coaching . Two Saturdays per month I have set aside for in-office and internet consultations and my contact details you will find in the above link.

This year brings with it new opportunities for networking with other global groups with similar vision of empowerment . I am loving to share with you a link to the Thank God I -New Years Promotion. Don’t let the cheerleader party on the front promo page disillusion you….keep reading to see the brilliance in this work.

Please visit http://www.thankgodi.com/245-45.html to register and gather ideas, lighten life or become a contributing authority.

Thank God I had Cancer; Thank God My Mother Died; Thank God For My Divorce are just a few of the inspirational stories in these volumes under this title.

Thank God I….is a global enterprise dedicated to empowering others through sharing resources, media and inspirational stories. It incorporates volumes of information to help you Envision and Achieve Your Best. Even the Dalai Lama makes a guest appearance in the Thank God I movie, soon to be released in Canada. I am grateful to be a contributing author to the empowering women series, inspired by the vision and loving to support its mission. Registering at this link by January 31, 2011 entitles you to a complimentary digital copy of my book- “Divinity in Divorce”.

This work aligns to my purpose of finding blessing in perceived crisis on a path of growth in expanding our awareness.

I am looking forward to the New Year with you, filled with fresh ideas, vitality and further gracious growth.

In love and grace,

Dena

Resolution and revolution are the paths that leave us in a tail spin of thinking we are going to get somewhere- “I am going to improve myself”, “going to self master”…with the idea that somehow you are less now and more later. Expanding outward from the beauty that already exists inside, fuels the best version YOU. A seed burst from itself and with water , sun, and soil grows into a beautiful plant but the divine essence remains constant. If you are a squirrel you will prefer the seed form but if you are a rabbit you will think the plant is the improved version. Growth and adaptation is the surest signs of life but which version of you is best is for you to decide. What is it that you Love?

A topic that I have often discussed this year on social media, in articles and on radio is the dance of loving what is but at the same time the ego of wanting more. Loving is a present action, wanting is a future fantasy. I have just posted a note on my “Divinity in Divorce” Face book page that states this principle when evaluating relationships but the same law holds true with anything you desire. Love it and it is yours, want it and it doesn’t want you. Love is the highest vibration, understanding both the pain and pleasure in this moment is no better or worse in the future. Want is a fantasy of wishing for something you perceive as missing in your currently reality and you believe it is somehow better than what you already have. The trainer asks, “What do you want?” The Goddess replies, “ I want for nothing but I’d love more of me.”

“If we could understand the order of the universe well enough, we would find that it surpasses all the wishes of the wisest and that it is impossible to make it better than it is.” G.W. Leibniz

Love and gratitude opens the universal gates to grant you all that you desire. Start every day asking yourself the questions : How can expand and grow today? What seeds can I plant today in my garden of life? Where may I give my loving service? Does this fit into my highest values? Am I being true to me? Every man, woman, child and their dog will have their idea of the best version of you and they will be different to test and tempt your own wisdom. Honour your uniqueness, you are great… live it.

A spark of thought created you. A single candle will light the room. One star holds the light of creation. If you were to wish upon a star…what would you love? The “how’s” and “why’s” you’ll design but your THOUGHT is the spark. Write it down, act on the thought, tell others to keep you accountable and send your light out into the world.

My wish for you my dear friends is the same today as it is every day. Fresh vitality in Love, laughter through the challenges and light in continued blessings.